HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABBY!

You’re so brilliant
Don’t soon forget 

jamjars
Wanna know the fucking truth? Nobody is fucking happy. Nobody has skin made from oil paint and sunlight. Nobody fucking understands this world. Fuck, nobody probably understands math as much as they claim. You’re here one day and the next you’re not. God? Religion? I’ve learned a lot more about the world by eating acid and swallowing pills. Tell me what your church has done for you? Tell me if you have holes in your mouth from speaking lies? Wanna know the fucking truth? Pity is just another word for pathetic. Drink beer and watch the sunrise from every rooftop. Take photographs naked. Take photographs kissing. Take photographs having sex. Stop making everything about sexuality. Wanna know the fucking truth? Nobody really gives a damn if you lost your virginity at fourteen or if you were the president in high school. Wanna know the fucking truth? There is no such thing as the right person. People leave. They change like ocean currents, they leave you with bruises in your calves. And you wanna know the fucking truth? You get better. You learn to love. You find God in between the cracks of a wall when you’re puking your limbs out. You wanna know the fucking truth? Go find it.
something someone should have told me when i was eighteen  (via irynka)
factory-floor

what your favorite classic rock band/musician says about you

  • The beatles: i'm a mainstream fucking chump
  • the Rolling stones: i'm a fucking chump who LOVES sucking dicks
  • led zeppelin: i'm a fucking nerdass chump
  • pink floyd: i'm a fucking egotist chump
  • queen: i'm a vapid fucking chump
  • frank zappa and the mothers of invention: i hate myself. i hate myself so much. i'm the worst person i know and i smell like wet eggs. I'm a fucking awful human being and I deserve this
  • david bowie: i'm pretendin to be a big giant fucking chump but i'm actually a fucking asshole
  • the beach boys: i'm a fuckin chump who lives with my chump parents in the chump ass suburbs
  • bob dylan: fuck you
  • fleetwood mac: i'm a fucking idiot chump who can't read
  • bruce springsteen: i'm someone else's fucking chump
  • the grateful dead: i'm an annoying fucking chump and i only get worse
  • the velvet underground/lou reed: truly an appreciator of the arts. I don't just appreciate the arts, I live it. Only the higher-minded could understand how I navigate the burdens of my intellect. Bless me.
  • jefferson airplane: i'm a pretentious chump and i use words i don't know
  • the smiths: i'm a dumbass who doesn't understand the narrow confined genre limitations of "classic rock"
  • aerosmith: i'm a washed up fucking chump who peaked in high school
  • elvis costello: i'm a socially withered husk of a fucking chump
  • jimi hendrix: i'm a stupid fucking chump talking out of my ass
  • journey: i would buy alcohol for 16 year olds
  • the eagles: i'm a fucking chump who smells like sweaty jeans
  • deep purple: i'm a fucking chump who tries really really hard to be cool
  • the doors: i invite myself to parties that i always ruin and people think i'm a fucking chump because i am
spaceshipschucksnlove

When I see a thick woman

  • What goes on in my head : The heavens must be in turmoil for they have lost an angel to the world of man. Your body is nothing short of the result of immaculate genes and impeccable design. The way your body moves reminds me of a coy pond; moving ever gracefully in a fluid motion. Truly you have been blessed by some deity for your posterior is positively astounding. Such an ample amount of perfection laid perfectly on the body of goddess, even Venus herself would be re-missed not to recognize your temple as better than hers.
  • What comes out: " Damn she got asssss thooo"